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"Right. And fiberglass doesn't. The components fit into slots on the board. The right components, elegant
design, and you've got a single-board computer. I figure we should be able to complete each board for
around three hundred dollars. Pinky's going to pay us five and sell them for seven. We'll plow the profits
into more boards, and before long we'll be able to produce a self-contained computer terminal,
monitor, the works. One of these days we're going to blow FBT right out of the water."
"Do you have twelve thousand dollars?"
"Yank and I have about two thousand between us, but I had to use some of that as a deposit for the
printed circuit boards. A guy I know offered me eight fifty for my stereo system. That's about it."
With three thousand dollars, Sam thought he could take on FBT. She loved him, and so she concealed
her dismay. "Did you try the banks?"
"The banks are run by morons. They don't have any vision. They're fossils. Monumental dinosaurs."
He had obviously tried the banks.
She lifted up her sandal and let the sand that had collected under her toes drift out. "What are you going
to do?"
He gave her a searching look. "It's what are we going to do, isn't it? You're part of this. Or are you
planning to run home to daddy and Calvin?"
The schoolyard lights caught the amber flecks in his eyes. She shivered. "That isn't fair."
"I don't give a shit about fair. I want to know. Are you in or out?"
"I want to be with you, Sam."
"That's not what I'm asking."
He was backing her into a corner, and she was frightened. Awkwardly, she slid down off the tire and
looked beyond him to the dark borders of the playground. "I don't have any money. In case you were
counting on it, you should know that I can't help you. My father controls everything."
"I don't expect money from you," he said angrily. "That's not why I want you with me. Goddammit! Is
that what you think I want from you?"
"No, of course not." But just for a moment, she had thought exactly that. "I don't have anything, Sam
no clothes, no money, no place to stay."
"I didn't ask for a frigging dowry! We'll get you some clothes and you're staying with me. Are you in or
out, Suzie?"
He was so certain, always so certain. The darkness at the edge of the playground suddenly seemed to be
full of menace. "I told you. I want to be with you."
"You can't be with me and not be part of this."
What was she going to say? She was a practical person. The only impractical thing she had ever done in
her adult life was fall in love with Sam Gamble. "It's not that simple." She turned away from him, but he
came right up behind her.
"Bullshit. I want to know!"
"Don't bully me!"
"I want to know, dammit! Don't keep throwing up all these artificial barriers. Do you have the guts to go
through with this or not? Do you have the guts to put yourself to the test?"
She spoke rapidly, pushing out the words before he could stop them. "It's not just a matter of guts. I have
to be practical. I need to support myself."
"That's not the most important thing! Supporting yourself isn't the most important thing. You don't need
money or clothes. Those are just excuses. It's your soul. That's what's important. That's all anybody
really has. Don't you see? If you want your soul to survive if you want it to grow and thrive instead of
shriveling up and drying out like it was doing in that mausoleum at Falcon Hill, you have to dare. You
have to give the world the finger, and you have to dare."
How he could talk. How this man could talk. She hugged herself against the night and the chill and the
menace at the edge of the playground.
He caught her arm. His eyes blazed. "Suzie, listen to me. We're living on the threshold of a new society
a whole new way of doing everything. Can't you feel it? The old ways don't work anymore. People want
information. They want control. They want power! When you look at Yank's circuit board, all you see is
a collection of electronic parts. But what you should be seeing is a wave this little wave way out in the
water, far away from shore. This little hump of water that's just starting to form. But this little hump of
water keeps coming closer. And the closer it comes, the more it starts to pick up speed. And then, pretty
soon you look up and Christ! its not a little hump any longer but a great big wall of water that's risen
up so high you can see it looming against the sky. You can see a white crest starting to form on the top
like a crown. And that white crest is getting bigger and it's starting to churn and curl over at the top. And
then you hear the noise. This tidal wave of water is picking up speed and it's starting to roar. And before
long it's gotten so loud you have to hold your hands over your ears. That's when you start stepping
backward. You don't want the wave to knock you down, and you're stepping backward faster and
faster. And then that's when you realize it. That's when you realize that no matter how fast you run, that
motherfucker is going to slam right down on top of you. It's going to slam right down on top of
everybody in the world. That wave is the future, babe. It's the future, and it's Yank's machine. And once
that wave hits, none of us will ever be the same again."
He was filling her with his words just as earlier he had filled her with his sex. He was filling up her body
and taking it over. The words caught her, heaved her about in their undertow and made it hard for her to
breathe. But for all his talk, Sam didn't really understand what it meant to dare. He had nothing to lose.
He lived in an ugly little house with a painting of Elvis Presley on the wall. He owned a stereo system and
a Harley-Davidson. When Sam talked about not being afraid to dare, he wasn't risking anything. She
on the other hand was risking it all.
He touched her. He cupped her face in his hands and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. The wave
washed her up on shore, and she experienced that helpless feeling women throughout the centuries have
known when they realize that loving a man means loving his vision as well, that it means traveling across
oceans, across continents, that it means being uprooted from family and giving up the safe for the
unknown. "I I need to think about this. Tomorrow, while you're at work, I'll think about it."
"I'm not going to work tomorrow."
"Why not?"
"I quit. I'm in, Suzie. I'm in all the way."
"You quit your job?" she said weakly.
"Last week. Now how about you? Are you in or out?"
"I I don't know."
"Not good enough."
"I need time."
"There isn't any."
"Don't do this, Sam. Please don't badger me like this."
"I want to know, Suzie. Right now. Make up your mind. Are you in or out?"
She felt as if she were eons older than he was instead of only a year millennia older in experience. A [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]