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develops self-consciousness, whereas the second kind of reflection develops a
moral consciousness.
In the scenario of human evolution that I use, there are three kinds
of consciousness.
1. First, the person develops consciousness of the world.
This is an unreflective awareness of individuality in a world of external
objects. This is the pre-social age of long ago, and is also the world of
infancy.
2. Then the person becomes a member of society and develops
the moral consciousness.
The individual now predominantly defines themself to be a social being.
3. Finally, the person is a member of society, who yet can
separate themself from it, if necessary, by their individuality.
Now the person develops self-consciousness.
In this scenario, the development of self-awareness is the necessary condition
for acquiring full self-consciousness. Awareness brings into the open our
limitations due to determinism and confusion, and the ways that we act as a
source of violence (mental as well as physical violence). We begin to realise
what our deepest motivations are. We cannot change our limitations and our
motivations until we become aware of them  without awareness, all we can
learn is to be inhibited.
In this scenario, there are stages to becoming an individual. The progression is
always away from a reliance on tradition. The person becomes able to use
tradition and its values, without being dependent on it. This is perhaps easier to
understand if I highlight the role of politics as one means of developing
awareness of oneself and one's relationship to issues of power and dependency.
A person who defines themself to be a Conservative is still buried in tradition:
their individuality is struggling to emerge. The Liberal is only partly an
individual, since their limited degree of self-consciousness precludes the full
adoption of self-responsibility. The Anarchist is more of an individual, since
he / she does not desire power over other people.
However, a person s attitude to life is not always this simple. Sometimes life is
easy, and sometimes it is hard. During the easy times a person may develop
some individuality, but when times get hard he / she may retreat into
conservatism again. The development of self-consciousness is always a zig-zag
process.
In modern times, the conscious attempt to extend self-consciousness
has usually been the preserve of the existentialist and psycho-
analytic thinkers.
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Will (or will-power)
In the practice of awareness in social situations the will presents a problem. To
be able to identify my subconscious motivations I had to let them rise into
consciousness. I had to minimise my will in order for this to happen; a strong
will keeps the subconscious mind repressed. Hence I had to accept having a
weak or vacillating will until I could identify my motivations. This vacillation
can intensify anxiety to unbearable levels. The uncertainty of a weak will left me
vulnerable to any hostility and ridicule from other people.
To identify my emotional response to a situation I have to use my will to stay on
the threshold of the state of mind that I want to analyse. I do not repress my
negative emotions, nor do I express them in any social relationship. I keep the
unpleasant side of my character to myself, I do not socially enact my
unpleasantness; I do not inflict my negativity onto other people. So if I am
feeling hateful to others, nevertheless I am considerate to everyone. This
procedure builds up anxiety to intense levels. Only my idealism gives me
reasons for practising such self-control. The saving grace is that intense
anxiety facilitates insight.
The intense anxiety forces me to put my current problem into the
centre of my awareness; the whole force of my mind revolves around
the problem. Then when I am alone I embrace the emotion in my
phantasies, I let my desires have full reign; in that mood I analyse
my ideas on any social field, such as ethics, politics, sexuality. Each
different emotional mood casts its own individual influence in these
fields.
For example, my views on politics change as my mood changes: narcissism
swings my views to the left, whilst resentment makes me conservative. By
comparing different emotional responses the real roots of desires and obligation
can be determined. This procedure takes the confusion out of ethics and other
contentious issues. Some emotions produce phantasies of violence and
destruction, and others have sexual motifs. Analysing the drama of these
phantasies enabled me to discover the roots of the psychoses and of sexuality.
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Mindfulness
In difficult situations I used my will to stay on the threshold of the state of mind
that I wanted to analyse. It is very hard to examine unfamiliar states of mind:
repeated exposure to them is necessary. Initially we just become aware of the
highlights of an unfamiliar state; the mundane aspects become noticeable only
when the novelty has worn off. Usually, though, unfamiliarity means nothing
more than that we were not aware of what we were doing previously; we had
regularly engaged in some states of mind without having noticed them.
This procedure of exploration became hell itself when I had to analyse states of
madness that my journey to self-consciousness put me through.
When the anxiety level becomes unbearable I practise the technique of
mindfulness. The determined use of this method enables any amount of
distress to be kept at bay, even madness itself. All emotions, all desires, rise and
then fade away. No emotion, no desire, is permanent. Emotions and desires
cause us pleasure or distress when we indulge in them or react to them.
Mindfulness is the practice of trying to remain neutral whilst watching the
present emotion or desire. We watch the emotion or desire arise, we watch it at
its peak intensity, then we watch it fade away. Sometimes it may take only a few
minutes to fade away, whilst at other times it may take hours. This watchful
state neutralises our usual reactions to distress (or to happiness). Practising this
watchfulness lessens anxiety to bearable levels of intensity.
The effect that mindfulness has on us is to develop the attitude of detachment.
The Buddhist manner of expressing mindfulness in a neat way is:
In the seeing, there is only the seen.
In the hearing, there is only the heard.
In the touching, there is only the touch.
In the smelling, there is only the smell.
In the tasting, there is only the taste.
In other words, we avoid reacting to the situation from our usual value
judgements. The usefulness of mindfulness is that it is not necessary to
identify emotions in order to practice it. The watchful, neutral state prohibits
reflective self-awareness though  since we are avoiding evaluations, so we will
not generate our customary desires or emotional responses. Therefore
mindfulness is not needed in states of low-intensity stress.
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Variations on Method
Anxiety in the subconscious mind is attached to unpleasant memories; in fact, [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]