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there, but I was. I recognized the landing on Exeter Road, so I started walking.
The landing on Exeter Road was more than twelve miles south of Lee s
house. Roman had walked nearly ten miles in the snow, wearing barely any
clothes, and after having not eaten in who knows how long? Lee s hands shook
with anger, and he put his mug down on the floor before he sloshed hot coffee
into his lap. Someone took Roman from the creek, and then returned him to
the same place ten years later  why? It made no sense to Lee.
 I m surprised no one saw you before me, Lee said.
 A few people drove past, but it wasn t snowing yet. I probably scared them.
 I drove past, too. Shame heated his cheeks.
Roman reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing tight.  But you
came back.
Lee covered their hands with his other, glad for the contact.  I didn t know
it was you.
 You were willing to help a stranger. Not many people are.
26
Frozen
 I d do anything for you, Roe, you know that.
A shadow descended on Roman, and he pulled away, taking back his hand.
 I know.
Lee stared at his clasped hands, empty now of Roman s, confused by the
withdrawal. Maybe starting at the end was the wrong tactic.  What s the last
thing you remember clearly? he asked.  From before you& disappeared?
Roman considered the question a while, then smiled.  The canoe trip. We
wanted to canoe all day Saturday, camp out that night, then finish the trip on
Sunday.
Sunday. The day Roman disappeared and Lee washed up onshore miles
from their campsite. A day he couldn t remember at all, except for the ambu-
lance and hospital.
 I remember what we did in the tent, Roman said. The warmth in his
voice was too much; Lee stared at the floor, unable to cope with seeing any of
that heat in Roman s eyes. Roman continued.  I remember sharing a sleeping
bag and feeling so safe with you. Loved. And then it was gone.
Lee looked. Mixed with the naked desire in Roman s eyes was bitter anguish,
and it unleashed questions Lee had asked himself over and over since that day.
 Where did it go? Where did you go? What happened to us?
Roman shook his head. He couldn t  or wouldn t  say, if he remem-
bered anything at all. Lee hadn t meant to ask, and now he didn t know what
else to say. Roman would open up when he was able. He was traumatized and
confused, and pushing wouldn t help. And if Roman was here now, let go, as
he said then 
 Shit, Lee said.
 What? Roman looked alarmed.
Lee s hand flew to his throat, fingers touching the scar, a nervous habit he d
never quite conquered.  Your dad didn t do it.
 Do what?
 Kill you. It s what the police thought, because of everything else that hap-
pened. He didn t have an alibi for Saturday night. His shoes were wet with creek
water. The weight of the realization crushed him. The suspicion against Mr.
Carmichael had been a large part of the mental turmoil that had pushed Lee to
attempt suicide at seventeen.  The evidence was circumstantial, so they never
charged him, but it was enough for people to believe it. It ruined him. He lost
his job. Dad evicted him and had the trailer demolished.
Roman listened with rapt attention, his expression amazingly neutral.
27
A. M. Arthur
 He approached me once in town, after you d been missing for about ten
months, Lee said.  Tried to make me believe he hadn t done it. He admitted
to being by the creek that day, but didn t remember why. Swore up and down
he hadn t killed you. He freaked me out so badly I started screaming. People
came to help, Mr. Porter and some others. Chased him off. Lee pressed his
eyes with the tips of his fingers, stomach sloshing.  We had a snowstorm a few
days later. It was January, and by the time it melted in late February, he d been
dead for a while.
Lee opened his eyes, blinking away dark spots, and looked right at Roman.
 Police said he must have just sat down, right on the lot where your trailer
used to be, and gave up. Said he froze to death. Found a piece of paper in his
pocket  he d written  I swear I didn t kill him .
Roman held his gaze steadily, his thoughts hidden. Finally Roman blinked,
then shook his head.  No, the old bastard didn t kill me, he said neutrally.  But
that doesn t mean he was innocent.
 I know what he did to you, Roe. I think that s why it was so easy to believe
he had killed you. Lee heaved a sigh, exhausted despite the coffee.  I always
hoped I d remember something. Every year I go out on that creek, hoping it ll [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]