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for which I thank the gods . . . Strahan will have no heir of me."
He made a slight banishing gesture with his hand, and I knew the topic closed.
"I came also to get honesty from you. Will you give it?"
Plainly, he wanted no jest. I nodded.
"Strahan forced you," he said, "much as Lillith forced me. I know what that
does to a soul."
"And you want to know how I feel."
"I know how you feel, Keely. Dirty. Soiled. Be-
smirched. Entirely worthless as a person, as a Cheysuli
... as part of the House of Homana."
Painfully, I swallowed. "I fulfilled i toshaa-ni."
His eyes were oddly intense. "And was it enough for you?"
I opened my mouth to say aye, of course it was; it was a cleansing ritual, and
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I was now purified . . .
but I said nothing. I bit into my lip to keep from crying and slowly shook my
head.
Ian smiled, though it was an odd, bittersweet smile.
And then he put his hand on my head, cupping my skull with his fingers. "You
and I," he said. "You and
I, harana . . .
together, we will defeat it."
Quietly, he went away, leaving me gazing at his absence.
I slept. And then awakened, aware of a presence, and saw another man in my
room, his face grown of d before me.
"Jehan?" I
pushed myself upright against piled bolsters.
He made a staying gesture. "Keely no. Stay as you are." And he sat down in the
empty chair, reach-
ing out to catch my hand. "Listen to me. Say noth-
ing, Keely:
listen."
After a moment, I nodded.
He closed my hand in both of his, gripping it very firmly. "She is mad, Keely,
not because of anything in the blood . . . not because of anything gotten from
ancestors but because her mother fell while carry-
ing her; the fall injured Gisella, who was born imme-
diately after. She is mad because of that and only because of that; you cannot
inherit it. You cannot pass it on. You are sane and will always be sane ...
and so will all your children."
My hand clenched spasmodically.
"I promise you, Keely. I swear on the life on my fir."
Through my tears, I smiled. "It took you too long to get him."
He nodded gravely, though his single eye was bright. "Which serves, I think,
to make the oath all the more impressive."
I held onto his fingers. "All my life I have been afraid."
"For nothing."
"All my life, once I was of d enough to understand, I feared I
might go mad; that my children might be born mad."
"Keely, we have never hidden the truth from you.
You know the story of how Bronwyn in raven-shape was shot out of the sky. She
died of her injuries just after Gisella was born."
I stared blindly at the coverlet. "She tried to give her sons to Strahan."
"She was made to do that. What do you expect of a woman reared by an Ihlini?
Lillith was foster-
mother, and Alaric her true father turned a blind eye. Gisella was mad
already. She would have done anything and believed it expected of her." He sat
back in the chair, releasing my hand; the memories, for him, were still
painful. "She gave me four fine children; for that I am very grateful."
I looked up into his face. "But you will not have her here."
He shook his head. "There is no place for her here. She is better off in
Atvia."
"Where Corin must deal with her, while Deirdre warms your bed." I caught my
breath. "Ah, jehan, I
am sorry. I have no right to say such things."
His tone was oddly calm. "The day Gisella dies, Deirdre will be my cheysula."
A long time to wait. I sighed. "I wish it might be tomorrow. Then Maeve
becomes legitimate and the oldest daughter of the Mujhar of Homana. Let her be
marriage bait; I am weary of it."
The Mujhar of Homana laughed. "So are we all, Keely. You are hardly the
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first." He rose, leaned down to kiss my head. "Nor will you be the last."
"Jehan
 what will you do about Teir?"
His face aged before me. "Find him, somehow.
And when we do, he will be brought before Clan
Council to answer for what he has done."
"What will Council do?"
After a moment he shook his head. "No warrior has ever done as he has. Not
even Ceinn, his father, who raised his son on rebellion. We are not a treach-
erous race, nor one in need of punishment . . . but what Teir has done is
reprehensible."
"Because he believes differently? Are you so sure he is wrong?"
"Keely "
"He could be right, jehan
... we may lose the lir."
He rubbed again at scars. "If that is so, we must deal with it as it comes.
But as for Teir " He sighed;
Teirnan was his dead sister's son. "He will have to be punished."
Mutely, I nodded.
At the door he paused.
"Leijhana tu'sai, Keely."
I blinked at him, baffled. "Why? What have I done besides try to kill
Brennan?"
His face tautened a moment as memory came back.
But he banished the expression and smiled a crooked smile. "Aye, you did . . .
just as I once tried to kill
Deirdre, her brother and her father if more indi- [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]